i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
