im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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