What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize