all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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