Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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