omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Houston, we have a blender
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
