What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
