dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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