More tranny stories later!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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