OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
there is glitter all over my balls
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