dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
