She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So here I am, sexting at work.
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