New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
