We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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