I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
