how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize