: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
