I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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