guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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