I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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