she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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