I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
