dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize