Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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