I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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