Whod you bang
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
