It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He has the fingertips of a God
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