My room smells like vodka and shame
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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