he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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