Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize