There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
