Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
