sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize