we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
