I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He has the fingertips of a God
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
