The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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