Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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