Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
