i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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