I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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