Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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