Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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