her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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