I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
