i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
