I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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