So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
