She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
