Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
