And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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