Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
