Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize