grandma shit on top of the toilet
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
