she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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