return my video game
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
