The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
