you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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