We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
