i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
