I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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