Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize