Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's the barista slut.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
