After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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