I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she smelled like a LAN party
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
