All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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