I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize