It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
