Sponge bath it is.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
