white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
love makes seman taste better
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
