I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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