It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
