On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
