Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
