chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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