Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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