absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
