you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
