I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
