Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
