The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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